Warring Thanks
Blackbird, Blackbird the Bluebird is calling
We’re taking on fire and the clock is still turning
Dirt is flying, our world is churning
Shouts, take cover as the bullets are burning
Come in, do you read?
Boom, boom, boom, bang, bang, bang
We need fucking help, we’re losing the day
Rodger, Rodger, we read loud and clear
While the blood trickles down, the air thick with fear
Come in, do you read?
The metal and howl of a great iron bird
It’s monstrous sound bellows, if one could have heard
Packed severed limbs, some burning, some dead
Once lively young children, no breathing instead
Come in, do you read?
The clatter of pans, bandages wrapped and applied
Some kids may have made it, while others have died
Cries from the suffering, shouts from the charge
Her wounds are too bad, and his are too large
Come in, do you read?
Time passes on, souls of soldiers now scarred
Though they live and they breathe, the future now charred
So we say to their families, we’re sorry for you
As we pin on their medals, red white and blue
Presidential honors and praises adorn
While fathers and mothers and families are torn
Come in, do you read?
My deepest gratitude and thanks to those who fight and have fought, so that we may be free. No medals, no praise, no thanks, can ever make up for your sacrifices and the sacrifices of your families.
AKP
Copyright 2008
- Written Obscurity's blog
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Striking Imagery
Even though 'Warring Thanks' (a well chosen title) sheds light on two different particular events, the battlefield and its consequences (families are hit with the ultimate human sacrifice while there are political gains orchestrated around them). Your work here showcases a tragic reality and more specifically, an escalating global phenomenon. Setting aside politics, international diplomatic policies and views, the poem finds itself applicable to current international conflicts, genocide and/ or civil wars. Regardless of personal political standpoints the loss of human life (on both sides of the fence) under such conditions in our time is needless and unnecessary.
The structure of every stanza and line composed is filled with strikingly vivid imagery; the reader is effortlessly placed in the middle of the scene, intensely joining in the fatal, adrenaline-induced action. Your choosing to end every stanza with the same line "Come in, do you read ? " gives the entire poem authenticity while strikingly depicting every soldier's sense of desperation and helplessness felt in such calamitous moments.
(Ideally, I would like to see the battle scenes continuing for a few more stanzas).
Very Well Done
Keep writing and keep sharing
Best,
CB
Thank you
Thank you for the kind words CB. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. It's a cruel reality of life I suppose, this thing they call War...and an even bigger tragedy for those scarred and lost to its devices, just to be swept under a medal or a hand shake with political dignataries. Thank you for your insight and analysis, I suppose a few extra stanzas could have been included to drive home the point a bit better. Never the less, thank you. I appreciate it.
AKP
Brutal truth
Excellent!! Those who have not served or who have close family and friends who serve don't often understand the very real sacrifices soldiers and their families make every day. Well done. You may want to check out my poem "How Dare You". My warrant was put on court martial after we returned from OIF 1 and that was the only response allowed a frustrated soldier at the time.
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.
-Voltaire
Thank you!
Voltaire,
First and foremost I want to thank you for allowing me the freedoms to write, live in safety and as you so perfectly put it, drink my lemonade. There is a side of battle, war and service that so many people have no idea about. We see the smiles, the signs of thanks, the hand shakes with high ranking political officials, medals pinned to uniforms and folded flags handed over to loved ones. This, all in an effort to make us feel all warm and fuzzy about war, about death. And yet, we're blinded to the reality of the loss, the tragedy, the scars, the turned over and forever disturbed soil that so many men and women, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters will forever have to bare. I would typically thank one for finding such appeal in my work and commenting on it positively...but today the thanks is to you, those that serve, those that are forever scarred and those that have left us for a better place.
Thank You,
AKP