depths of the mind

in the depths of the mind
there's a spiraling vortex
it runs the show
yet it's usually not aware of itself

there's a spiraling vortex
that i've found
yet it's usually not aware of itself
it's consuming

but i can feel it
that's how i know it's there
it's consuming
i retreat to the depths

in the depths of the mind
it runs the show
i retreat to the depths
that's how i know it's there

woah

The repetition of ideas and key words is intriguing. It enforeces the idea of a vortex. Not a circle, repeating itself in the same way, but a vortex, which repeats in various patterns. Almost random, but not quite. The vortex is an interesting idea. I took it as your thought process. The vortex is the way you are programmed to think, the way this poem is written is how you are thinking. You are getting somewhere in thoughts, yet it seems slow and repetitive and circular. but really it is a logical way to think. Much better read aloud. The way there is no real poetic form gives the impression of many different voices chiming in at every line, which makes it even more yet poetic. I like the line "yet it's usually not aware of itself." Puts a spin on what the vortex is, that it has it's own thoughts, or lack of thoughts. Well done. Yet "spiraling down this hall" is still my favorite of yours.

cool beans

lol. actually, the poetic form is a pantoum, but i like your interpretation of them poem. my interpretation was actually voicing the lack of voice, but still having to do with thought processes. but yeah, the form does reinforce the vortex theme. i'm glad you like it.

-steve
http://xvineyardpkx.bravehost.com

pantoum, huh?

I should try that form, it seems cool. Keep up the good work, they're really fun to interpret!

Warped + Wefted!

Love how progress is regress, turning on and in on itself! Delightful tangle of ideas showing just how the mind is warped and wefted!

Smiles and Light
AuraGem

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