free runners
a balancing act,
is this a circus?
no it's my home.
why's there a teen
walking on my half-finished house
along the beams?
i came here to work,
to continue construction.
why's there a teen
jumping off of my house?
oh my gosh, a leap and a bound,
is this a jungle?
why's there a teen
doing precision jumps
along the beams?
they are like animals,
with a need to jump and climb.
look, another's approaching,
but he's not walking.
he's a cheetah about to catch his prey.
he runs up the wall,
and grabs on to the roof
like his spirit is free.
more are arriving.
cheetahs,
monkeys,
they're all running free.
who are these free runners,
and why are they here?
i approach one of them
and have a little talk.
he's convinced me.
wow, the exhileration!
now i am a free runner.
i, too, am a mix
between a cheetah and a monkey.
the house won't be finished,
it will remain a jungle.
these free runners have opened my eyes
to a new life and i am now
a new being.
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lol
It wasn't as good a poem as it was a story. I found it comical! Try a rewrite with the same story, but maybe start in the middle, and have better flow of words. It could be taken as a metaphor for a bunch of things if written differently. I'd write it for you, but I don't like it when people steal my ideas, so I wouldn't do that to you.
okydoky
lol, thanks, yeah i'm like that too so that's good you didn't try to rewrite it. and no, it's not a metaphor, it's actually about a sport called "free running" that i do. look it up on google, it helps to have an understanding of the sport. so you think i should rewrite it? what do you mean by "better flow of words?" like, instead of using the words "precision jumps" and stuff like that? more advice please!! (when you get the time) :)
http://xvineyardpkx.bravehost.com
hmm
Honestly, I don't really remember what I was thinking about rewriting it. Never mind, I can't remember what I meant. It's still good. :)